Everyone’s last words before they do, in fact, mom shame. But I think we’ve gotten to a point in society where every bit of criticism has been villainized, when IMO (that might not be too common), shitty parenting deserves to be called out.
Right now I’m going to talk about a situation that’s been stirring up momtok; Matt and Abby (of Matt and Abby) admitted on instagram stories that they put their 1 and 2 year old children, asleep, in separate rooms on a cruise ship, then FaceTimed baby monitors and went to dinner.
Now I could go on and on about why Matt and Abby just give me a vibe that I just can’t put my finger on (the Father’s Day/bday interview sent me over the edge), but I want to focus specifically on why I think this was unsafe and lazy, entitled parenting.
1) DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM MADELINE MCCANN? The cruise line has record of where you are when you make a reservation.
2) Matt and Abby are celebrity-level influencers in the momtok/momstagram worlds. They literally left their children, unattended, in their rooms, as (probably) some of the most recognizable people on the ship. Anyone who watched them for 10 seconds would see them watching that FaceTime of their kids (HOPEFULLY???), putting two and two together very quickly that they have unattended children in their room.
3) The level of comfort with putting this online screams entitlement. This tells me that this was probably planned, and if it wasn’t, it was definitely signed off on by friends/family. WE HAVE TO CALL OUT NEGLECTFUL PARENTING. There is a way you can communicate to your friends or family without being mean. For example, if someone said to me that they were planning on doing this, I would say, “oh, you might not have thought about this, but since you made a reservation, they know your room will be vacant, so they could come in while the kids were alone.” Obviously, some minds can’t be changed, but again, we have to call out neglectful parenting.
Again, we’ve shifted the culture from a world that felt almost pro-mom shaming (90s sitcom level nonsense) to this anti-mom shaming world, a very similar paradox as the authoritarian-to-permissive parenting pipeline and the United States government. Why is there no middle ground?
Safety isn’t morality, and it’s not complicated. Anytime in parenting, if the thought “they’ll be fine” enters my head, I know there’s more I could (and ultimately) will do. If you see something, say something. If you see a friend make a mistake you’ve made, you’d say something. You aren’t saying it to be mean, you’re saying it to hopefully save her from the stress/pain/heartache/sadness/loss that you dealt with.
It’s similar to parenting toddlers - give it a big reaction, and they get what they want. We know Matt and Abby make money of rage baiting, but as influencers, we have influence, and with that influence comes responsibility. I do think they’ll eventually reap what they sow, but until then, call out lazy parenting and don’t interact with content like this- that’s their goal!
Ok have a great day, I love you bye
xo, Rachel
PS: I can’t say I’m entirely convinced that Matt and Abby actually left their kids alone, I feel like maybe they took advantage of the babysitting services in addition to the late reservations and just aren’t telling us. At least I hope.